Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize