I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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