I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
