so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
