i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
