you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
