I wish my penis had an off switch
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
