i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
