i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize