Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
