I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
