Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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