I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
