Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
