Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
