Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize