BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
