i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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