are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
