I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
