oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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