i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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