is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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