NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
