Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
