Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
porn star boner night. come get it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
