He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
