just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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