the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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