And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
