i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
