I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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