kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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