Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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