We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
