He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
