making cat noises will not fix the situation.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
