I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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