He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
