you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
