the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
