I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can I color on your dick again?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
