You made me cry and you don't even care
I need help removing her.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
