can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
