Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
