He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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