I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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