Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We left the knife in your bed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
