I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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