why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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