covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is wine microwaveable?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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