Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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