She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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