Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
