I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You ruined the universe
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
