I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
