Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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