He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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