Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
that is very illegal...i love you.
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