I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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