That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize