I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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