Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
